For Colored Girls who Considered Everything as an Affront when Taking Stock is Enough

What do Tyler Perry, Tiger Woods, CDC, ABC, and Steve Harvey all have in common? If you guessed trashing black women in the media you guessed right. Was Tyler Perry serious about all those run ragged black women in for colored girls? You mean Tiger Woods couldn’t have cheated with a sister? Not one? Does he know how undesirable that makes the black woman look? CDC go away with your AIDs and Herpes rates. Dateline did you really have to go there. Again with black women being undesirable. Steve Harvey? Even fat comedians on their 8th divorce find black women laughable and are on the attack offering sage advice. I think it’s time for a (insert blog about black women haters and/or feel good commentary about all the great black women there have been to walk the face of the earth) here.

I’m sorry. Scratch all that. I don’t buy it. The black women screaming that out to get us mess are the real villains. They are in a vocal minority that draws negative attention to the whole sisterhood because they are so out of touch, delusional, and irrational that the media gods can’t help but fan the flames, because who doesn’t like to rubberneck a good crash scene? One with hysterical bystanders at that? Everyone, right? I sat in traffic for one and a half hours because of a wreck on the other side of the highway this past Tuesday. The great thing for publishers and networks is the rubbernecking round those parts lead to Neilson ratings and book sales. Cha ching.

Think about it for a second. Tyler Perry makes a movie about a bunch of black women getting ruined and destroyed by a bunch of black men. If you’re keeping score out to get us black woman, it is the good guys: black women with some pitiable flaws -1- and the bad guys: black men with no redeeming qualities -0-. Yet according to the out to get us black woman this is a movie that trashes black women. Dateline comes out with a show that interviews various sisters who talk about the short comings and inadequacies of black men as a collective. Yet, according to the out to get us black women, this was a show that trashed black women.

Noticing a theme here? No, not that black men are really the ones getting trashed publicly by black women (ya’ll can have TP since he dresses as a woman and you are his main supporters anyway). No, not that. If I were to say that the out to get us black women would probably accuse me of exercising “black male privilege” and attempting to usurp the discussion by laying claim to black male problems at the expense of the black female who never gets heard except on Oprah, Dateline, and NPR etc etc. Nope. Not going there. I’m talking about this theme: the one where the out to get us black women crazily lash out at the world instead of pausing for a second and taking stock. And yeah, I purposely used the word crazy you crazy conspiracy theorists you. I digress, the theme is unaccountability*. Don’t believe me?

Remember when some government and non profit agencies studying STD’s, obesity, economics, and family structures uncovered higher rates of morbidity, broke-ness, and knocked up-ness, respectively, for black women than those of other races and genders? Remember when the out to get us black women argued something was up with the timing and veracity of these reports? Like the CDC, you know, that massive clusterfuck of red-tape filled with locked in the labratory mad scientists government agency that takes ten years and a signature from someone appointed by the President to replace an empty ink jet cartridge actually waited for Steve Harvey's latest book to drop the bad news that Black women stay losing with the Herps.

Really out to get us black women? Grasp at straws much? Get real!

If I actually believed the feminist college survey course syllabi the out to get us black women re-circulate to those of us that took real classes never took the course about black women being the lowest on the hierarchy of patrilineal hetero homo sexual normative judeo Christian jabberwocky, then I'd know nobody cares enough about the black woman to plot out her demise by pin prick through the media. Through trite entertainment and vapid statistical studies, much less.

I went to my homies house this weekend and he was talking about the pledge process for Southern University's marching band. Telling me as much as he could anyway. And he was saying the kids that complained the most caught the most grief. No one liked a whiny bitch, so they would beat their ass more so he would quit or man up and change his ways. Black women are getting hazed right now, as the media tends to do from time to time. They do it to groups, individuals and countries. Right now these out to get us black women are complaining the most. Complaining so much the notion of “woman-ing up” and actually dealing with some of the concerns these “media bashings” raise is falling on a lot of deaf ears.

And its jacked up because I know for a fact most black women don’t give a fuck about this stuff and even if they do are open minded enough to at least consider whats being said. But these out to get us chicks is effing it up for all yall. Long as they keep the crash scene spectacular with narcissist level paranoia and denial and pseudo intellectual histrionics, all black women will continue to get the medias two by four upside their backside. Politicians and athletes and even some countries learned this shit a long time ago. A.) Ignore it it'll eventually go away. Or B.) Apologize and act contrite, it'll go away. Or C.)Change the news with something positive. But if it really is sucking for you absolutely do not fight it by engaging in a drawn out battle.

Fucked up as Chris Brown handled that Rihanna situation, it would've been worse if someone caught him angrily throwing chairs screaming I am not a woman beater it was in self defense! But that seems to be the path the out to get us black women took. What better way to deny the charges of undesirability than to exhibit traits people find undesirable in women: irrational argumentation and combativeness. And there it is. I hear them now, “Way to go bitter black dude for blaming the victim.” No! Actually, it’s time you finally stfu out to get us black women. Next time I hear your mouth I want it to be you telling me how your complain and whine them into submission strategy worked out for you.


*Note to readers: could a non-out to get us black woman actually familiar with the word accountability let me know if unaccountability is a word. Thanks.

To Undo Human Evolution (Explanation of Revenge of the Successful BM Part 1)

deconstructing hundreds of thousands of years of human evolution is a bad idea, just ask black people about the state of the black family. I recently posted two youtube clips and one has gotten quite a few views amidst this xtranormal video, Black woman Black man, role playing, hoopla so I feel like id be remiss if i didn’t give more meat to my satire by way of somewhat reasoned serious analysis. I say somewhat because I don’t have stats. Im generalizing. You can sue me for it, but I went to law school.

black people, specifically, black women, have turned human evolution on its face. Not only have they done this, but they act as if it’s a raccoon in the kitchen, almost as if to say wtf are you doing here as if these recently stomped on principles have not been around for a million years. Lemme explain

the 15-25 year old kid chasing the beautiful girl is doing exactly wtf he is supposed to be doing. Its these beautiful girls that are fucking up. The girls are supposed to be going after security and status, but they are not. Their shit is so twisted they are chasing after drug dealers, junky artist type of people, and old ass deviants with a little bit of money looking to get their rocks off on some young tang.

If these pretty chicks wiring wasn’t so jacked up, from a very young age they would be chasing the achievers. Not in sports or playground dozens games, but in school. Our society rewards the educated. For every puffy making a billion, there are 10000 men making 100k. My math could be off but moneywise it may very well be the same amount of dough Puffy is making compared to those 10000 men, but security wise, in our supposed monogamous society, those 10000 men can provide lifetime security for what is theoretically 10000 women while Puff may do it for 3 or 4 at most? so why the fuck is every chick trying to spot out the “future” Puffy by way of intangibles like assertiveness, creativity, or even the way his fucking pants sag off his ass, or trying to spot the future Lebron by how high he can jump, like her stupid 15-20 year old ass could figure out the criterion that lead to that sort of success anyway.

Judge the niggas GPA. His involvement with school sanctioned activities. His ability to actually get along with the teacher, instead of riling her up. Its what white people do. I went to a freaking white high school. The most popular cats also had the best grades. And even if he happened to be an athlete, he still had stellar grades. Makes sense for the chick seeking stability and security in accordance with a million plus years of evolution and in accordance with a monogamous society. Duh? If you want to argue for polygamy maybe it makes sense to seek out “future” Brons and Puffs, but we don’t live in a polygamist society. not to mention, that’s a whole nother post.

Then you have your average chick and ugly chicks saying yo im here date me. And trying to blame the nigga for liking who he likes. Saying shit like check the girls that you like. Are you liking the video hoe chicks? You mean the chicks with nice hip to waste ratios and perky breasts, clear skin and healthy hair. All the indicators of fertility? Ummmm. Yeah. And you label her a video hoe, emphasis on the word hoe, because that’s how her dumb ass be acting, which is the point of this blog post. Nonetheless, it still doesn’t reflect negatively on the men going after those chicks because they are doing what the hell they are supposed to be doing!

Its like if a lion was hunting hyenna on a certain savannah and one day the hyenna was all gone. The ugly chick say look why don’t you boil this saw grass I know you a carnivore and everything but you can get used to it. Na, fuck that. That shit have the lion looking all malnourished and sick and stuff. The lion is going to move to another savannah to find some hyenna. Unfortunately entry on that savannah requires drug dealing, acting thugged out, and half assed pursuit of all manner of pipe dreams. Then theres the other savannah a little further away, where all the hyenas are white. Regardless, the lion gonna get some hyenas. He was never meant to boil sawgrass.

Then you got the chicks saying well like who you like. Should it be based on some formula? Shouldn’t she just go after who gives her that tingly feeling, or whatever the hell the young dumb impressionable and totally blind go by to make there way through life? that’s why I don’t really fuck with the womens movement. Some of that stuff, most of that stuff, in theory is real cool. But I don’t think anyone actually sat around and thought about the long term consequences to the human species.

It used to be that tingly feeling was regulated. Ever read romeo and Juliet? A chick actually going after who she “liked” was such a big deal that that story has been around for ages and is celebrated world wide. Read between the lines however, and you see Juliet couldn’t do shit if her family didn’t want her too. This is because her family cared about the family 200 years into the future before the future family was even born, and they didn’t want descendents of romeo in their family. They thought that shit out. Now you got pops that’s absent and no direction past next month, but again, that’s a whole nother post. Not saying we should go back to dowrys and arranged marriages, but foresight is good.. Really.

These days chicks don’t see past their freaking noses. And it has a cascading effect. cream of the crop chicks which were once there to inspire men to do shit like fly to the moon, now usher them into jail and un-employability. And you got these ugly chicks demanding we eat boiled saw grass in the name of respecting a woman for more than her looks. Which I have no problem with, but mating with you in spite of them? that my friend, goes against every fiber of my being.

This seems like a good departure point. My next post ill analyze my second you tube video and delve into where this deconstruction of human nature has led us.

Last Laugh

First Laugh

im boycotting BET

they named emenem the number 1 rapper of the decade.  fuck that.  a couple of the guys voting obviously had biases towards em.  like the producers on the panel who'd like nothing more than to taste some of that crossover top 40 money em gets for breathing on a beat, being the original white hope and everything.  so they ass kiss in hopes of collaboration.  then they had some fat and/or ugly bitches on there that couldnt wait to stick it to black men by saying the equivalent of "damn you niggas cant even run your own artform.  a white boy does that shit better than you.  cant do that, how can you lead a household?  no wonder im single..."

because we all know fat and ugly black women hold animosity because everyday we tell them they are not beautiful and therefore less than women.  we do it in media, we say it to them, and it happens when they are ignored and if not ignored approached in a haphazard, careless, obnoxious manner because well the nigga approaching probably could care less about a rejection from them.  these the bitches niggas hollar at and be like you was ugly anyway go get some jenny craig you hoe.  and these fugly chickens harbor all that ish, to unleash at opportune moments, passive aggressively, and aggressively, on Tyra and Oprah, blogtalkradio, and BET panels where they can finally tell us we are less than men.  seriously.  how the fuck did i predict which people were gung ho for em?  i figured itd be Jermaine Dupree and that other producer i had never heard of and all of them tore back bitches on the panel.

forget the fact that at the turn of the millennium hip hop was at a cross roads.  was it going to go the way of puffy, master p, and cash money?? or the way of rawkus records, common, mos def, and for that matter, em?? we all know which way hip hop went.  it didnt go the way of lyricism.  them lyrical niggas is dinosours. lupe fiasco is a fucking dinosaur.  the whole lyricism issue culminated this year when Flocka came right out and said it.

thats why em got murked by Mariah Carey this year.  Gucci got in on the fun.  and no, em would rap circles around Gucci, but thats not my point.  the point is nobody gives a fuck about that stuff now.  Gucci laid the swag on em, some simple A-B rhymes, and just the way he said it, in complete and utter mockery of the wordplay and complex rhyme schemes ems known for, em had to hide out on top 40 while that shit blew over. thats why em didnt go at gucci.  em cant win that battle.  he goes at gucci he loses before he starts because people are not listening for what em does, they are listening for what gucci does.  what lil wayne does.  cats like TI, Luda, and Kanye bridge that gap between word precision (lyricism) and expression through delivery (swag).

em on the other hand hasnt been relevant in hip hop in over 5 fucking years.  the people who buy his album also own keane and coldplay and limp biscuit.  em got all those sales, but probably 80 percent of those sales come from people who have one rap album in they whole collection: em's.  thats not hip hop.  are people rapping about hating their moms?  do people whine and bitch and moan in they hip hop music?  do people scream and talk angrily in their hip hop music?  absolutely fucking not.  where is em's influence on the hip hop industry?  dude is a white boy aberration that has zero influence on the game.  and dont give me em gave us 50.   i remember when fif came out em tried to change his style and slur his words to sound more like his "protege".  tell me when that happens?  isnt it normally the other way around?

all that said i woulda had Kanye or Wayne at number 1.  that fat chick talking about Wayne being laughable in 2000 obviously never heard of the term "bling bling" which Wayne fucking invented circa 2000.  Juvenile and Cash Money was running shit in the south during the early part of the millennium.  Wayne been dropping shit since 97 and he had a respectable following.  then he fucking took over! i listen to urban radio and all i hear is wayne for the past 3 years.  em never was on like that in urban radio.  ever. 

even Kanye woulda been a good choice.  dude has his beats all over classic albums.  his rapping has created bonafied hits that define our times.  goldigger anyone?  hes taken over style.  all i see are fucking skinny jeans and bright shoed hipsters these days.  hes socially relavent.  hes all over the radio.  sold ridiculous amount of albums in a post download era.  and he even has cross over success.

sure Wayne and Kanyes success on top 40 isnt as great as ems. but next thing you know they are going to be saying the black eyed peas are a better hip hop group than tribe or wu tang or outkast.  get the fuck out of here.  why do we let white people define us?  thats what they like.  they will award them.  trust when grammys come around they will award them.  but we do our own shit and we gotta be like them too?  like what they like? respect what they respect?

fat and ugly black women: Wayne and Kanye aint why you single. praise the bluest eye all you want, you will still be single. in fact, give the black man some credit for once and maybe you can fix that situation.  and i dont have nothing to say to jd and that other no name dude.  get your paper i guess.  and as for BET?? fuck you! motherfucking sell outs.  you and essence.  at least them deltas had enough pull with sprite for them to declare a tie.  no such luck for the black man.  praise white jesus!